Dear Me… I Was Not Dealing With One Thing

I thought father’s death is the only thing I was dealing with. And, I was wrong… I had this bubble full of false thoughts in my mind. The actual dilemmas of life just started. The father’s death was a knock on my door of life. It was the first collision that was making home during that phase of my life.

Dealing

Source: https://www.videoblocks.com/video/a-silhouette-appears-and-disappears-in-a-dark-fearful-corridor-rmhmgdnifjd8njsyw

One fine day, I was resting in my room… half asleep. I sensed someone’s footsteps in my room. Suddenly, the person came close to me… second pillow got pulled away from my bed… and, in few seconds, I felt suffocated… It got really hard for me to take a breath. I was screaming and shouting for help… without making noise, as, it was very tough for me to make sound. Fortunately, another person comes in my room… he pushes away the first person and takes me into his arm. He embraces me and start rubbing my back. I open my eyes and see my mother on the corner of my room… holding the pillow.

“Everything is alright son… don’t panic… I’m here”, My Uncle said. Family members came in the room. My complete body was shaking. I was very scared. Everyone sat beside me. My uncle asked my mother to leave the room and told her not to come close next time.

Since that day I hardly used to sleep peacefully or soundly. Days passed on… I thought things are back to normal. Yet, I had no idea about the terrible life that I have ahead of me. There was always one person from the family who used to stay with me the whole time.

The thirteenth day of my father’s death.., another attempt of murder took place. It was me again… the victim. Nothing changed. This time my mother didn’t use a pillow. This time she tried to strangle me with her hands. Fortuitously, I was saved again by my uncle, as, he heard me screaming.

Since then, my family has kept me away from my mother and my maternal family. I started living with my grandpa and grandma. My uncle used to visit us sometimes. He always told me, “I’m here.” Those 2 words were enough for me to feel safe and protected.

After almost 2 months, the night… that fearful night came. I and my grandma were alone at home. We went to bed after having our dinner. After a short nap of 2-3 hours, I was not feeling like sleeping. Still, I sustained myself and stayed lying in bed. I was in the middle of REM sleep, when I sensed something outside the house. Someone knocked the door. Grandma woke up and scanned the outer area of the window.

“We need to move out from here”, told my grandma. She went to bring the torch and a stole. I started walking towards window… pulled the curtain’s corner slightly. My mother was there with 3 people. Grandma pulled my hand and said, “We need to move out, as, we cannot spend this night at home.”

That night was fearful for me. I was petrified and shocked by my mother’s action. That night developed the hatred feeling in my heart for my mother.

dealing

Source: https://www.huffingtonpost.in/entry/truths-about-anxiety_n_5240381

To be continued…

PS: Things never end… As, the ending is the new beginning of new things.

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